Cartoon Monkey

Funny Answering Machine Messages

Cartoon Puppy
Funny Videos

Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine.

answering machine sign

Below are some of the Classics & Best Answering Machine Messages


Thank you for calling 911 our offices are closed because everyone is at the donut shop.....

911.wav (130k)


Hello...helloo... hellooooo........

Hello.wav (88k)

Hellooo #2

Hello..hello.... I'm not home at the moment so.....

Hellojokester (108k)


So you decided to give us a call, well we're not here......


Da Da Da ...

Da da da, uh huh, uh huh,uh huh.. as you can see we're not at home... (musical)

Da Da Da.wav (168k)


Greetings, this is science officer spock, currently there are no life forms avalable to take your call ....

Spock.wav (176k)

Austin Powers

No one's home baby, leave a message....

AustinP.wav (156k)

Monty Python

You have reached the monty python silly voices preservation society ......

Sillyvoice.wav (68k)

Captain Picard
(Star Trek)

This is captain picard of the starship enterprise.....

Trek.wav (168k)

Singing Message

An upbeat singing message.

Message.wav (80k)


I'm sorry but the master of the house is tied up right now ....

Spooky.wav (172k)

Formal Message

Good day the party at this residence is unavalable ......

Formal.wav (136k)

Humphrey Bogart

Of all the answering machines in the world you had to call mine.....

Bogart.wav (80k)

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